Aaron
Jan and I are friends because we’re both members of the Baha’i Faith. The pinnacle of all the teachings is the oneness of mankind. Caring for society and recognising that there’s needs out there that we should be out trying to address. I love people. I try to make sure, for people my age, I visit them so they’re not sitting at home on their own. I’ll phone them or go and see them for a chat.
Jan
The one person I remember from that first Baha’i meeting was Aaron. I think I even remember the jumper he had, and I think it’s because he’s so welcoming. We’ve been good friends ever since. When my darling husband died, Aaron was a tower of strength for me. I had grief counselling for a while. We were very close. Tom and I had been married 45 years and I was finding it very difficult, but the poetry was better than any grief counselling. I wrote about his death, his dying, how I felt. A year later, I wrote another one and that showed how I was gradually coming to terms with that. It was just going deep into your subconscious.
Aaron
Poetry allows you to free your expression without judgement. You know nobody else is going to read it, so that’s all right. I just suggested Jan write poetry, I had no knowledge of grief. But it was a nice exercise together.
When I retired I started writing short stories for myself, never for publication. Then I started running out of stories. Then Feros sent a note around to all the poetry groups saying, ‘we’re running a slam poetry group.’ I thought, it’s probably better than what I’m not doing now, so I went and it was just absolutely inspirational. Absolutely. I love performing in front of people, so that’s all right, and it was just very liberating. And I’ve enjoyed poetry ever since.
Jan
And so we’ve done this poetry together and you might suggest a subject. And we both write a poem on the same thing and compare. I find it’s fun writing about real things, happenings, and of course, all the grief things. Very helpful. Aaron is very erudite with his poetry. And I’m just, you know, little Miss Muffet.
Aaron
You write humour. I tend to be more passionate, more confrontational. It’s an opportunity for me to put confrontational ideas out there without having to confront the people.
Jan
The power of friendship is having an extra support in life and the joy of sharing. Aaron’s been very kind to me in my hours of need. Because when you lose your other half, and he was my other half, you’re very lost. Aaron’s encouraged me to find other things to do. We share the joy of being Baha’is, and it is a joyful thing being part of the Baha’i community.
Aaron
To me, the power of friendship is summed up in one word, and that’s trust. If you’ve got a really good friend, you can trust them with the problems and the joy.
Jan
Well, that’s true. I can tell anything to Aaron, and he’s not going to tell it to anyone else. And there are some things that it’s very healing to tell somebody else. Thank you for being my friend.
Aaron
We both enjoy it. Our friendship is radiated out to others and that’s an important part. By being happy, being positive, greeting people, helping them if they’re down.
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Of Jan’s best qualities, Aaron said ‘the opposite to mine usually because they tend to complement mine, so her gentleness would be something, I’m not necessarily a gentle person, her generosity.’ On Aaron’s best qualities, Jan said ‘when it was his birthday, I wrote a poem about all his good qualities, he’s very kind and thoughtful of other people. Very friendly, outspoken, although sometimes I could say, a cranky old man.’
